Couple therapy enables you to talk about your difficulties in a calm and thoughtful environment. I think about each partner's role in the relationship. There is no judgement or 'blaming and shaming'. A good couple therapist will always work this way.
There are times when all relationships come under strain. Relationships are complicated and require hard work and compromise. Often, the things that attracted you to your partner, become the things that irritate you the most. Add this to the stress of living and working in the twenty-first century, and it is hardly surprising that good communication gets lost, as couples struggle to balance all their commitments.
Often, couples get caught up in a destructive dynamic, where they get stuck in a downward spiral of miscommunication, misunderstandings and hurt. Couples can feel trapped in ‘boxes’ and ‘roles’ they cannot get out of. It often seems as if you have been handed a script to play by your partner. It then becomes increasingly hard to be your best self. I aim to untangle these complex threads to reveal what is really going on for each of you.
Often too, partners unknowingly trigger old childhood wounds by threats of rejection and abandonment. This then gets compounded by lack of time to talk and listen. This may lead to hopeless feelings about your relationship. This can be resolved in therapy by having safe ‘ringfenced’ listening time, and identifying what exactly is being reactivated from the past. We can then think about what is going on in the here and now.
I also like to have an individual session with both partners at an early stage, so that I can get a deeper understanding of your own issues, and what you may be bringing to the relationship. After that I work with you both on the issues that brought you to couple therapy, and ways to stop reactivating old wounds by greater understanding of each other, and more effective communication.
“It's time to start living the life you have imagined.” — Henry James.
For more information about Couples Therapy call me on 077721 12039. If I am not available please leave a message, and I will get back to you as soon as I can.